Shame In The Public Domain Is My Only Weapon

In September last year I wrote out my funeral plan, I was so convinced I was about to die I wanted to make it as uncomplicated as possible for my family. I don’t believe in God only on spirit, love and kindness these are the pillars I live my life by.  I was sure my body already failing by my progressing ms was about to give up the fight; I laid down my plans.

During the four months I was in bed six out of every seven days I was trying to cope with the unrelenting nerve pain, a pain so intense the most of obscene words can not describe how it feels.   The same thought kept running through my head asking the same question ‘WHY’ my infusion is not expensive I don’t demand much from the health service even my disability scooter I bought myself? I do my own pyhsio in fact I have not accessed any services for years, they thought me what to do to keep my legs moving and I do it end of.

There I was and am again in desperate need of a little assistance but in order to save a few euro for the next management junket; I was and still am denied! I have few options open to me I am only one woman, I don’t have any big organisation behind me offering support.  I learned years ago the ms society can’t do much not when you’re criticizing the HSE who fund them! My online friends have kept me sane during this fiasco when I can’t sleep or feel I have no fight left these amazing people across the country give me the will to keep going.

What about those who don’t have the support? What about the families who can’t fight the system? I have always said I am only one in thousands, you just happen to hear my voice.  Every time I turn on the news I see our great leaders prancing about Europe with plastic smiles and expensive suits while Irish society is dying! Suicide, self harm, domestic violence and the use of drugs and alcohol are all on the rise, I just heard a body was found on the beach down the road here, is this another tortured soul who couldn’t take it anymore?

The government don’t care and there is little recourse for people like me, my last two treatments were only administered because of the involvement of Pearse Doherty and Mary Lou McDonald, they took my case to the dail and leaders questions; I received an appointment two days later! I know our great leaders hate bad publicity for fear it might get back to their friends in Europe; so here goes.   I am taking a small claim against Reilly for non fatal offences against the person, in order that they can’t try to void my case by sending a job lot of appointments for my lidocaine infusions; I am limiting my case to the four months last year when I existed in a state of intolerable pain and suffering, the same state I am in again.

I am going to do this in the most public way possible, I want Dr Reilly to know how I live and how I am effected by his cutbacks; I want him to look me in the eye and explain why?   I do deserve to live a life without pain? In order to bring as much attention to this case as possible I will need the support of my online friends especially those in the media I want Europe to hear my story and know that there are thousands of me living a tortuous life so we can save a few euro.

Things at the health service are going to get worse, much worse before they get better.  We all know perfection is only a dream but at the very least we should act in a humane manner and let no one forget it could be them tomorrow.